Girls Only

Be warned. This is a girly post. Of course, if you boys out there are looking for some socking suffers, read on.

As I said way back when we started this blog, I think dancing encompasses everything. Or maybe it's just a good excuse for me to blather about anything I want. So. You've seen some posts form me concerning dresses and shoe pads. Now here's one about makeup. I love makeup. I love how I can look tired and decidedly lack luster when I get up, and somehow by the magic of makeup, look pretty good when I leave. I use lots of products to achieve this transformation, but very little of each. On a normal day it doesn't take very long. Hey, I've been doing it for 30 years. What else do I do every day? Brush my teeth?

When I go out dancing, I like to look more dramatic, and OK, it's an excuse to go back to the glittery makeup I wore in my twenties. Not as much...I think as one gets older one should tone it down. Smoky eyes look cool on a twenty year old, kinda scary for most of us in mid life. Dancing has some unique problems with makeup. Namely, you sweat. Nothing like a big 'ol streak of mascara running down your face to destroy that fetching look. Something I've been looking for a very long time is an indestructible eye liner, preferably not black. See my comment on smoky eyes above. I've used a few with varying success, some are too hard to apply, some don't last, some don't come in the colors I want.

I have now found the perfect eye liner. And with a few caveats, you too can have it. Let me first state I love makeup, but I don't love high prices. Don't get me wrong, I've over indulged at Sephora and loved it, but felt very guilty afterwards because of the price tag. And, my scientific side says most of the high prices are not justified...the formulas for cheap and expensive are not that different. You don't think so? Get a bottle of drug store shampoo. Now get a salon bottle. Look at the ingredients. See what I mean? I'm sure your hairdresser will argue amounts of said ingredients, but really, shampoo for the most part is shampoo. Same for nail polish. And other stuff.

But...occasionally, very occasionally, a product will surprise me. And Jemma Kidd eye liners were one of those. I found them in Target. I love Target. I could spend a good part of an afternoon there. Anyway. First, the bright colors of these liners caught my eye, so to speak. Ha. A myriad of bright, dare I say, neon colors, with a soft shimmer. Oh my. I quickly grabbed six, then put three back. I settled on a lime green, bright teal, and coppery brown. No price that I could see, but hey, I was in Target. How expensive could they be? Big mistake.

Turned out these lovely liners were 15 bucks a pop. Whew. Blew my budget for at least a month. My husband, sweet thing, told me not to worry. A Yule time treat. That evening I tried one. I still was a bit growly over the price. These had better be GOOD, I thought. I eased the brush out. Nice and small. This is essential, because I have no real talent for applying this stuff, if it doesn't go on smooth the first try I can never get it right. I swiped near my lash line , the formula was smooth and went on perfect. The color...oooooh. VERY pretty.

I'd never seen anything like it. OK. So far so good...but would it last? I wore it dancing. No streaks. No smudges. Unfortunately during a vigorous lindy, I felt something in one eye. I wear contacts. Miserable if something flies in. I rubbed it. Oh no, I thought, there goes my liner. I visited the ladies room and...lo and behold, the stuff was still there, looking as neon green as it had earlier. Now I started to worry.

Would it ever come off? But it did later on, just as easy as the rest of my makeup via the wonderful Olay washing clothes (another cool tool). So there you are.

But now that we're on the subject, how about a few more make up products? How about blush? First I have to say is a bit embarrassing because of the name of my favorite. Who names a blush Orgasm? But it IS fab, the brand is Nars. I've seen it used by dark and pale skinned ladies alike to the same soft shimmery goodness. The shade is a wonderful golden peach that seems to work with everyone. Very nice. You can get it on ebay, which I wish I done with the eye liners but oh well. I have never found the color in any other brand.

Nail polish. They were all the same to me, except sometimes the expensive brands like Opi sometimes have better colors, and then I found...Nailtique. This is not a color, but a fixer. When you put this on first (I like formula 2) your nails Will Not Break. Or split, shred, peel. OK, so I still break one now and then l, but I was using my nail as a tool. For normal activities, this stuff is magic. Also available on eBay.

The third and last makeup item. For those of you who do not have a pink under tone in your skin, this is a cool tip. Up to now, I have never found foundation that worked with my skin tone. I have a decidedly yellow tinge, NOT pink. Also foundation to me is rather yuk, but there are a few places I need it. I found two perfect items. One is Physicians Formula cover up in Yellow. You can find it in most drug stores. It's supposed to be an under eye thing and it does work good there, but I use it to cover any other unfortunate place on my face that needs covering .A little bit does it. I also like a very light veil of powder to set everything, but again, up to now all I could find was pinkish beige (terrible on me) or "translucent", which made me look like a ghost. Model's Choice (eBay, again), has a nice yellow tinged beige that works great for those who have a yellow under tone. (I refuse to use the word sallow.)

Oh, and girls, try brown mascara instead of black, even if your hair is dark. It does the same job but looks much softer. See my smoky eye comment above.

Oh dear, I've done everything except lips. I'm not a lipstick girl, I like gloss. Gloss is good, except when you dance you do NOT want a sticky one because your hair will stick or your partner will at some point get it on his shirt. For dancing I like Bonne Bell (drugstore) in Dr. Pepper. It gives a nice soft red tint, it's not sticky. Sometimes I use TINY bit of Venom gold shimmer over the top (eBay), but not too much or it will get messy.

OK, I'm done now. Hair goo at some point in the future.

Swing, Swing, Swing...

I knew there were plenty of swings. I read somewhere at least thirty varieties. Right now Gary and I know EC, WC, Lindy, and sorta rockabilly. We are learning that from a tape (Ms. Sophia out of Chicago, she rocks). Unfortunately, a tape just isn't as good as a real live teacher, even though Sophia has lots of cool moves. Anyway. Gary and I set out last week to experience the Carolina Shag, the St. Louis Imperial Swing, and the Arkansas Street Swing. I say "experience", because no way can one learn a dance in one weekend. Well, at least we can't.

It was a great weekend. Fabulous dancers, some of the best I've ever seen. The Shag was rather "meh" to me, it kinda looked like those Irish dancers that keep their upper body stiff and do the feet. The Shag is impressive, don't get me wrong, but maybe I'm just too bouncy for it. The Imperial Swing was cool and I liked the moved we learned, but I didn't see much difference from it and EC. The Arkansas Street Swing was another story. Loved it. Very slinky, and although we will be adding the move we learned to our WC, it was really different from anything we've done so far.

I find it fascinating that there are so many variations on swing, which I know there are that many on Latin dances too, and probably other ballroom dances as well. Which means that there will always be a new dance to learn.

Somehow, that's very comforting.

Old Home Weekend

Sometimes there's no place like home. I'm not talking about home where you sleep and eat and keep your stuff…I'm talking about those old, familiar haunts that you visit and revisit so often you know them as well as you know your own home. For us, the dance versions of these homes away from home are the Starlight Ballroom and the Indiana Roof Ballroom. If you've read my entries for the last month - and I encourage you to do that, I'm not writing for my health here - you'll already know that we've paid our last visit to the Indiana Roof for the year…sadly the Roof's New Years Eve festivities are only so-so even though they're held in spectacular surroundings. Tonight we're visiting the place we'll be spending New Year's Eve - Starlight Ballroom.

Starlight is kind of generic when it comes to the interior. It's just a square, new-ish building with a good floor - no points for style unless you call drop ceilings stylish. Still it's the location Indy Dancers calls home once every other Saturday and, therefore, so do we.

Really it's kind of funny when I think about having a 'usual' place to dance. I mean we've traveled from Iowa to Cincinnati to dance, we've attended workshops on Lindy Hop, Arkansas Street Swing, St. Louis Imperial Swing, and Carolina Shag, we're into taking chances with our dancing - yet here I am extolling the virtues of the same-old-same-old. Strange how wandering can wear you out. Maybe it's something about the time of year…Thanksgiving always has been a 'family' holiday for me and with Yule right around the corner maybe it's natural to start thinking about the kith and kin, home and hearth.

I guess that means for the rest of 2008 we'll be exercising the dance steps we've learned throughout the year on the floors we've come to know and surrounded by the dancers we've come to recognize (for good or ill). I'm good with that, really good with it when I think about it.

The Turkey Trot

So what do you do for Thanksgiving? A little turkey, a little dressing, maybe some mashed potatoes, and then a nap on the couch with the football game on the television? It's a good gig if you can get it - I'm all for the tryptophan and carb coma, in fact I often think about making my own turkey just so I can enjoy the leftovers! The turkey part got me thinking about a particular vintage dance that I remembered my father in law having a piano roll for (at least I think he does, I'm getting addled in my old age). The dance is the Turkey Trot and its part of the 'teens, ragtime fad for animal-based dances. Don't ask where the idea for creating all sorts of dances based on animals came from - I just know a walk through the list of dances will produce a veritable zoo. According to Mixed Pickles:

"The dance floor was turning into a barnyard. Rowdy new dances like the Turkey Trot, Grizzly Bear, Bunny Hug, and Chicken Scratch were invading dance halls. Like ragtime music itself, early ragtime dance steps and movements were born in the black community. Elegant European salon dances had always emphasized a quiet, erect carriage and dignified bearing. These dances, with their shoulder shaking, slouching and tight embrace were stomping and wiggling their way from rowdy west coast honky-tonks, bordellos and lower class dance halls to every ballroom across the nation.

Of course dance teachers were horrified. They saw these dances as vulgar if not downright obscene. Worst of all, these "animal" dances didn't require hours of expensive lessons, their simple steps could be learned by watching other dancers, or even improvised on the spot."

I'm getting off track, though…frankly I just thought it was funny to connect Thanksgiving with a ragtime era dance! Heck, you try to find a T-day dance! In the meantime here's what the Turkey Trot looks like. Go practice it and burn off one or two spoonfuls of mashed potatoes.

Goodbye Roof - for 2008

November 16 brought the end of the Big Band series at the Indiana Roof and our last visit to the venue this year. The roof holds a New Years Eve gala and last year we attended - but the food was mediocre, the band adequate, and the price exorbitant so this year we'll be attending a New Year's party at the Starlight Ballroom for less than half the price. The upshot is last night we said goodbye to The Roof for the year.

The Bill Sleeter Dance Band provided music for the send off. They're a good outfit even though their music was alternately draggy and too fast (an odd combo). They did have one of the best mixes of music, though, and they provided a killer set list that gave you the songs for the night and (if you didn't know) what dance you could do to those songs.

It's kinda sad to know we won't be going back to the Roof in '08. I don't know, maybe in all my experimenting and seeing new venues it's nice to have one constant. Still, we'll be back there in '09 and the calendar ahead holds at least one visit from Terry Lee that we'll try to make in spite of the normally insane holiday schedule.

Move Across the River - Part II

Sometimes you set out to do something with the thought, 'yeah, this will be a breeze…'. You expect to be good at it - heck, half the reason you're doing it is just so you have a chance to shine, right? Well, that was me when we set out for Cincinnati Bop's 16th Annual Move Across the River this past Friday. The plan was to take an Arkansas Street Swing class on Friday morning, dance during the afternoon, just hang on Friday night, take a St. Louis Imperial Swing class Saturday morning, then a Carolina Shag class, and maybe dance a little in the afternoon before heading home. A full schedule, but since we expected to nail the dance sessions and didn't expect too much from the classes - no sweat, right? Let me tell you, this was a wakeup call.

First off let me say that Move Across the River is a heck of an event and that it draws members from 44 clubs across the Midwest and Southeast. There were groups from Pittsburg, Oklahoma, Iowa, Missouri, Michigan, Wisconsin, the Carolinas, and even as far away as Florida. The Drawbridge Inn in Ft. Mitchell, Kentucky was full with boppers, shaggers, swingers, and dancers of every stripe - let me tell you it was an interesting feeling not being the only one walking down a hotel hallway with a bag of dance shoes slung over my shoulder! Kind of nice, really.

Secondly, I'll point out that there were about twenty people attending this year's event who'd been to every single one…that's sixteen straight years of attending ONE dance event. The level of experience around us was greater than just about any event we've attended thus far in our young dance careers. And what's more these people had skill! I've witnessed some good dancing but this was the smoothest WC swinging and the sultriest shag-dancing that I've ever encountered on any dance floor. Even guys nearly twice my age were getting down…it made me feel downright decrepit!

The good news is we learned a routine in the Arkansas Street Swing that we'll be perfecting and working into our other swings and we nearly picked up a routine in the St. Louis Imperial Swing that we'll be able to adapt too. The bad news, my beloved Carolina Shag isn't the dance I thought it was - it's geared for those with creaky knees judging from what the teachers showed us. Still I'm sure we'll invest a little time in learning to shag - after all you've got to have something to do to slow triple-swing tempo music and a fellow can only do so many WC swings in a row before getting really bored.

The down side of the event? I've never been in a dancehall that allowed smoking until this weekend. Sure, bars cater to smokers as well as non-smokers…but hotel ballrooms? The ones I've been in here in Indy are almost all non-smoking venues. Not so much for the Drawbridge. In fact, I don't know if I've been in a hotel with more smoking - they even had a cigarette machine in the lobby, something I haven't seen in ten years. The net result for me was a minor headache almost throughout the event. Still, I guess it could have been worse!

We also wound up dancing Friday night - something we hadn't planned on doing. It was an experience - two hours of dancing during the day along with an hour and a half lesson then another two hours of dancing at night. Then up early to check out before our first lesson - and five more hours of class. Tomorrow we're at the Indiana Roof for an evening of ballroom dancing…oh my aching knees!

Move Across the River '08 - Part I

Tomorrow we're off on another dance excursion. This time it's not far - just to Cincinnati where we'll be attending Cincinnati Bop Club's Move Across the River '08. We're not members of Cinci Bop, what caught my attention was the chance to take lessons in some fairly obscure types of swing dance: The Shag, The Imperial Swing, and the Arkansas Street Swing.

It's a funny thing about the way dance developed after the 40's. Music got faster, fewer people danced, until (after the disco gluttony of the 70's) nearly all the dance halls closed their doors or were converted into some less savory second life. When you start to learn swing today you're taught that there are two types: East and West Coast and if you dig around long enough you'll eventually discover Lindy Hop. The thing is, in reality swing was as eclectic as the culture of the states of the union. In the southeast The Shag was the swing of choice while in the mid-south you had dances like the Arkansas Street Swing and the Imperial Swing (with roots in the St. Louis area).

Back near the beginning of this blog you'll remember we went to a bunch of Lindy Hop classes in Iowa. It was a great experience and I took home a lesson (in addition to a few ideas for steps). That lesson was this: Don't expect to learn a whole dance in a two day conference. You probably say 'duh' but yeah, some part of me expected to come home from Iowa knowing how to Lindy. I'm not going to Cincinnati with the same misconception! The hope is to steal a couple of Shag, Street Swing, and Imperial moves so that we can work them into our triple EC and our Lindy Hop.

Pictures and a report on the proceedings will be forthcoming Saturday evening - so stay tuned!

Julian Jam '08 - Part II

Six days after the fact I'm getting around to posting a little more information about the '08 Julian Jam! The night was a success - nobody got stomped, nobody got pummeled, and everyone generally had a good time not to mention supporting an important cause. I highly recommend attending one of these jams…a little good music, some very good food, and who knows you might come home with a prize or two.

For our part we left our money and left the door prizes to other people. Oh well, we were there for the dancing anyway. And dance we did - the Stardusters provided the soundtrack for the evening. They're a good band if a bit disorganized and out of tune on occasion but they do manage to swing it and they actually even got in a rumba and a WC instead of the usual Lindy-Only fare you get at most Indy Stomp sponsored events. One note on the Stardusters, if you get a chance to catch the vocal styling of Janiece Jaffe don't pass it up - this woman definitely brings it. When she sings a torch song you practically smell the smoke. Somebody once said you can't sing the blues if you don't have the blues - she's definitely been done wrong by somebody!

As for the American Cabaret at the Athenaeum…I've danced in bigger phone booths. It's important to mention that this historic venue was originally intended to promote gymnastics to the German community here in Indy. The building is big and the Cabaret is located in what must have been one of the gymnasiums - high ceilings, open rafters, big windows and the lot. You might think that'd make for a great dancehall - I mean how many high school dances are held in gymnasiums, after all? Well the problem is when the Cabaret came in they broke the floor up into levels so that stage shows could be put on for an audience seated at tables. This left exactly no floor for dancing…in fact the Julian Jam folks brought in a temporary floor for the evening (nice and slick, hooray). Anyway, if you put more than four couples on the floor at a time you got a major traffic jam - it's a good thing not too many people dance at Julian Jam events.

Oh, we did get complimented on our swing by Ms. Jaffe. That feels good!

Julian Jam '08 - Part I

Part of the reason I decided to write about dancing was the fact it combined two of my loves: dancing and writing. Now those two loves have crossed over one another in the physical world. Tonight we attended a benefit for the Julian Center at the Athenaeum here in Indianapolis. The Athenaeum was built in 1893 by German immigrants who escaped persecution in their homeland, fleeing to American and eventually Indianapolis. The building itself was designed and built by Vonnegut and Bohn Architects, a firm that carries the family name of Indiana legend Kurt Vonnegut. That's the closure of the circle - dance to literature to literature to dance…nice, huh?

We attended the Julian benefit last year - then it was held at Fountain Square. Catering for the event was stellar, provided by Shelby Street Café (there's some debate on this - I keep thinking the eats were provided by Scholar's Inn, a Mass Ave institution but I'm often wrong about these things!) and including more food than a body should eat when planning on dancing. Its surprising the stuff I stuffed my face with didn't wind up as a greasy spot on the dance floor after the first fast tune! Somehow I managed though - I'm sure Kell's glad about that!

There's something about dancing in a venue like the Athenaeum. I mean the Indiana Roof is a great place and it has such a storied history…but the Athenaeum reaches back to ancestral roots. Imagine a people bereft of all they knew back in the old country. They've traversed the Atlantic Ocean and the North Eastern seaboard of the United States. They've penetrated past the Appalachian Mountains and into the cereal bin of the country where people are earthy and not given to out-and-out acceptance of differences. Finally they settle in Indianapolis and they try to make a life for themselves. Then after all the escaping they realize that some of the things they escaped are really missed - in their hearts a longing grows and it's the kind of longing that cannot be quenched because their personal reality stood in the way.

So what did they do? What would you do? Try to keep the good things alive and let the bad things go into the dustbin of memory? Maybe…I guess as an outsider I'll never really know. The one thing I know is that in 1893 the Athenaeum was erected and on its façade a plaque was placed stating 'Frisch und Frei, Stark und Treu' (Fresh and Free, Strong and True).

Tonight we'll be making use of the American Cabaret Theater, enjoying the music of the Stardusters, and trying to avoid the stomping feet of Naptown Stomp Lindy Hop Society (I'll break out my steel toed saddle shoes). As always there will be pictures and a report, so stay tuned!

BOO!!!

I love Halloween. I love the weather, the spookiness, and the permission to wear anything I want. I feel sorry for people who have linked this enchanted holiday to bad stuff. It wasn't always like that. Take a look at some of the pictures from Halloween parties and dances in the '20's. Or the sweet decorations from the '50s. Maybe those who have such a vendetta against Halloween should take a good look at themselves instead. Especially after the election results, woohoo.

OK. I'm done now.

Gary and I decided this year to spend our anniversary dancing. Yes, we married on October 31st. We took a quick trip to St. Louis and the Casa Loma ballroom. As usual, my husband described the event so perfectly I won't rehash, just a few words on how wonderful it is to be with what I think of as "my people", individuals of all ages, ethnicity, and orientation blending and having a blast.

My favorite moments? Giggling with a cross dresser over my corset (he liked it), seeing a dead ringer Sarah Palin get booed and watching her slapping her butt in response, and a middle aged man winning the costume contest with a Mr. Bubbles look...it is something to see check out the website.

So was thinking about Halloween and dancing, and realized for me there was a connection. When you are dressed as a pirate you simply cannot think about any worries you may have. When you are dancing, you MUST be right there or you will mess up. This is especially good for me, because I am usually not an in the moment person, I am a planner, an oh-no-what-about-that, or an oh-dear-this-is-coming-up kind of gal.

Dressing up in a silly costume keeps me grounded, helps me enjoy the here and now. The past is the past. The future may not be at all what you are planning for or worrying about. I'm trying to be more present oriented, because really, that is all you can be sure of. Might as well enjoy it!

Now if you will excuse me, I have to finish painting the bathroom, because we are having a party in the next few weeks and I have SO MUCH TO DO.

Halloween at the Casa Loma Ballroom, St. Louis

A belated Happy Halloween to all you ghouls out there in swing land! Halloween is my favorite holiday - maybe it’s the fond memory of sugar highs past or maybe it's because it's the only time of the year that scaring the hell out of people is expected, whatever the case I like the holiday enough that my wife and I were married on October 31st. This year we headed southwest to St. Louis for a Halloween ball at the storied Casa Loma ballroom. The original Casa Loma was built in 1927 and it wasn't received with much fanfare - in fact it nearly went bust until better management took the place over in '35. Maybe it just was bad luck. The market crashed in October of 1929 and there aren't too many two year old businesses that are ready to withstand a major financial collapse - thing is, when the Loma took off again the depression hadn't lifted so maybe it's just a case of the right hand being on the tiller.

The sad part is in 1940 the Casa Loma ballroom burned down - from the pictures the place was a total loss. I'm still looking for details on how and where the fire started but it apparently consumed a fair portion of downtown St. Louis since a local church also was destroyed and if I'm correct (from what we saw this weekend) that church is five or six blocks away from the ballroom itself. Luckily the ballroom was rebuilt but much of its 20's era glory was lost and the new façade is plain, unornamented brick with a small sign indicating what lies within.

We arrived at the Sheraton St. Louis in the early afternoon and I have to recommend the rooms there. Doubtlessly the bed in our room was the best hotel bed I've ever slept in and that includes a stay at the DuPont in Maryland. I can't recommend the room service, though - at least not unless you're willing to sell a kidney. For a sandwich, fries, and a salad (no drinks) we were socked for over $40. Damn that stings! You'd think the food came out of a Middle Eastern well!

If you travel to the Casa Loma I might remark that the neighborhood surrounding it is - interesting. Interesting in the same way that a visit to the East Bank is interesting. Don't stray from the beaten path, stay in the well-lit areas, oh and isn't it interesting that there are armed guards everywhere? We didn't linger to take in the street life, though - I can't say I want to hang out too long when I'm dressed as a pirate complete with bandana and eye patch. That's just asking for trouble, isn't it?

By seven thirty we were ensconced at our floor-side table and we'd changed into our swing shoes and damn did they get a workout. Sh-boom was the band, a pretty good '50's outfit who could use an equally decent soundman to keep their decibel level somewhere below that of the Concord. In fact that'd be my only complaint for the entire evening (and if you know me, you know I like to complain!) - they say if it's too loud you're too old but when the sound ceases to be music and starts to be some weird kind of distorted rattle to a beat, something ain't right!

Still we danced - and danced - and danced until we were dripping with sweat and beaten. The crowd was fantastic - alive and fun and so diverse. I love Indy and I treasure the opportunities I get to attend ballroom dances at the Indiana Roof - but damn do I wish there was a venue like the Loma here in town. Everything from college-age kids to hoochie-mamas to cross dressers with a liberal sprinkling of booze and rock-n-roll and you got one hot night. My favorite moments of the night were watching the cross dressers dance, seeing someone dressed as Sara Palin actually booed (hey, it's not fair if you're mocking a buffoon to get the ridicule they deserve!), and slow dancing with my lovely wife just so we could catch our breath for the next swing tune.

Oh, and apparently we dodged the camera man who took pictures of the evening. We must be like the bigfoot couple or something - there's little photographic evidence of our existence other than a blurry shot from a distance that might just be a pair of trees dressed as pirates. I'm not saying we don't exist, I'm just saying you couldn't prove it by this picture! Definitely give the whole deck a scan, though - some great pictures there! I'll do my darndest to get a slide show of our pictures posted too - I have to admit they're nowhere as good as the ones the Loma's photographer took...then again, he is a photographer!

We stumbled back to our room and finally hit the sheets sometime after one in the morning - then it was back to Indy in time for a very tired day of work today. But damn it was a good kind of tired!

Skids

It's been awhile since the old curmudgeon had a few words with you folks out there in dance land. Sorry for the delay - I've been busy chasing kids off my lawn with a cane when I'm not down at the corner grocery complaining about the price of onions these days. It's the latter that has me sitting down to type a missive tonight - kids, youngsters, rapscallions.

Yesterday evening I had a perfectly respectable evening planned. I toddled down to the local ballroom to join up with my fellow club members for their 7th anniversary dinner and dance. In my heart I was looking forward to a dandy evening - mangling some potatoes and a slice of passable roast before settling in for a couple of hours on the dance floor. It's the predictable things in life that keep me sane - they are the anchor that moors me in the safe harbor of my life (to get poetic about it).

Things were swell and I was about to head to the buffet for a slice of cake when the club DJ announced that we had 'visitors' attending the function that evening. Don't get me wrong - I don't have anything against out-of-towners coming to any dance, club or otherwise. It's fine for a few relatives in from Cleveland to occupy a table and watch the goings on…maybe even join in for a Foxtrot or Shag. Really, it's great…but isn't an anniversary supposed to be for the people anniversarizing not for spectators? I mean, what if your significant other asked to invite a cousin to come along to your anniversary dinner? Or maybe share your birthday for the sake of expedience? Doesn't seem right, does it? So maybe that's why I got a feeling of foreboding when I heard that announcement. I wouldn't say I wanted to yell 'throw the bums out' but I have to admit somewhere deep in the rusty workings of my soul I kinda thought it.

Still the evening went forward and the DJ struck up the usual first swing tune - like I said these dances are almost rituals, there are club members who've been attending far longer than I have and I suspect they could name the tunes that will be played any night in order. Any deviation from the pre-arranged order must be submitted in writing weeks in advance and put before a secret committee - I hear there are funny hats and secret handshakes but I'm not sure and if I were I wouldn't be allowed to say. I sit back and I look across the floor and the first sight I encounter is that of the visitors…dancing.

Okay, dancing is a broad category and maybe in east armpit wherever these people hale from they don't require things like…being on the beat…but I still assume that they'd have some basic manners. It all goes back to the fact that people don't seem to know the difference between social dancing and antisocial dancing. So let me lay it down for you.

In social dancing you're aware of where you are on the floor most, if not all, of the time. You're also aware of what's going on around you…you know where the slow people are, where the fast people are, and in general you try to make it pleasant for everyone and, thereby, yourself. While in antisocial dancing you just worry about showing off - hey, everyone else can look out for themselves 'cause it's all about you - right?

In social dancing you know that the floor is divided into roughly three sections: outer orbit for those who conflate traveling dances with track events, inner orbit for everyone else, and middle for beginners and people who aren't doing traveling dances. In antisocial dancing the whole floor is nothing but the fast lane and if you're in the fast lane well, you might as well be playing on the freeway.

In social dancing you make sure you don't dance into the way of other dancers if you can help it. If you make a mistake an cross someone up, you excuse yourself politely and get out of their way as best you can. In antisocial dancing, hey this is Mad Max land and if you can't defend your slice of hardwood then it ought to be taken from you by force.

In social dancing you excuse yourself when you bump into someone - even a simple 'sorry' will suffice, after all we all goof once in awhile. In antisocial dancing the other buffoons on the floor are luck you don't knock them out cold when you run into them…after all, dance is a contact sport.

So you probably got my gist - I didn't so much like these folks. I will say they spurred me on to add to the Blue Suede Souls lexicon, though. The new definition is as follows (and will be posted appropriately):

Skids (n): Teen aged dancers who, either engrossed in the opposite sex or in their perceived ability to dance, blatantly take up more than their share of the floor, present a hazard to other dancers, and generally detract from the enjoyability of an evening dancing. We'll stay on the far end of the dance floor, as far away from the skids as possible.