Change

Change can be many things both good and bad: it can be chosen or forced, planned or unexpected, sad or exciting. But, even if the change is something you want, need, or is all around best for you, it isn’t ever easy.

Gary and I are changing our relationship with our studio. There. I said it. It isn’t easy. It’s very very sad, and I’ve cried over it. Someone reading our blog posts may think this decision stems from the fact that we weren’t able to have input into our routine, but upon further contemplation, that just pushed us sooner into this eventual outcome.

Because deep down, Gary and I both knew this would eventually happen. I fought that feeling with tooth and nail. So did Gary, although he recognized we weren’t getting everything we needed long before I did, being more perceptive and wiser than I. Even after the Routine Incident, as Gary is now calling it, I held on. It will all work out. Everything will be fine.

But after a long discussion late into the evening, we decided we have to make some changes. Why? In a nutshell, our vision of dancing doesn't match theirs. There is not a “right” and “wrong” here. Gary and I didn’t know what we wanted when we started, and a ballroom studio is a good place for any dancer to begin, even if eventually you decide ballroom style and rules are not for you.

What we need and want now is an eclectic approach; a place where ballroom instruction lives down the hall from a hip hop class. A place where dances can blend and evolve. A place where experimentation is appreciated and celebrated. There are indeed such studios…on the east and west coast. None, alas, around us.

But that just makes it harder, not impossible. What we are going to do is find different studios that teach different things. Our current studio for fortrot, swing …and the rockabilly. Our teacher learned that dance for us, and we appreciate that she did. But we will also investigate local swing dance clubs and conventions for street swing. And fortunately, Indy has a huge Latin community, so there are two bona fide Latin studios we can get salsa, hip hop, and other club Latin dances from. We are also wanting to learn Argentina tango, and believe it or not, Indy has a studio that specializes in that…who knew? We want to get out there and experience dancing taught in different ways. Again, we don’t think our approach is better than ballroom…just another expression of dance.

For those of you who are beginning your dancing quest, here are some words of advice. Don’t just sign up at a studio. Go in and ask them questions. Find out their expectations and yours. Ask other students…those that attend, and if you can, those that left. Ask them why. Also, ask yourself how creative you are. If you have any artistic blood in you, know that ballroom dancing and subsequent instruction (and in our case, routines too) are exact to ballroom specific standards. Nothing wrong with that, but understand that experimentation and ballroom dancing usually are not used in the same sentence.

Ballroom dancing is very popular, but there are other ways to dance, and to learn how to dance that are equally valid. That is our quest for the coming year.

We appreciate everything we have received from Melissa. I hope she would take this as a compliment, but it is because of her we want to broaden our scope...we wouldn't be where we are in our dancing without her guidance. We value and respect her and her expertise. She learned and taught us rockabilly when no one else would, and we will never forget that. Gary and I still believe Melissa is a fabulous, wonderful, teacher and we know we will continue to learn much from her.

Dancing has become more than a hobby; it has become a way of life. And that means expressing ourselves completely through it. We can no longer get everything we need from our studio. That has been a gut wrenching realization. But perhaps, in the end, all works out the way it’s supposed to. I’m sad, but I feel free. Excited. And a little scared.

The adventure continues.