Get Some Manners!

I got to say it - people you got to learn some manners.

Since I'm an older guy you're probably thinking that I'm about to launch into some 'kids these days…' rant. Well, I've got a few of those but they'll have to wait for another Sunday. For Father's Day I'm delivering the gift of enlightenment to all you fellows in the late forty-something to late fifty-something bracket. Yeah, don't give me the 'who me?' look.

Truth be known, as a group you fellows are the least considerate dancers in the whole world. I can't tell you how many floors I've been traversing with my significant other only to have to dodge Freddy Fleet-Feet and his patented flying Geritol step. Yeah, it's impressive that a fellow with the proverbial snow on the roof still can stoke the old furnace when inspired by the right tune. It's great to be out there under the soft lights all dressed up and feeling it. I hear you brother, the same thing happens to me - but I don't underarm turn my date into the couple next door just to show I got the rhythm.

The other night I had this fellow cut right across in front of me and my girl on his way off the floor. I had to pull up or knock the Grecian Formula out of him - he's lucky I'm such a gentleman or I might of used some coarse language! Later that night the same guy (this time dancing with a girl that was about a third his age) nearly flung his partner right into us. I guess ignorance is the last thing you lose when senility sets in.

Here's the skinny in bullet point form so you don't lose track:

• Dancing at the local ballroom is a social affair - so at try to be sociable or stay home.
• Nobody cares if you can do an aerial, shelve it for your debut on Dancing with the Stars and just dance like you know how to play nice with others.
• If you left your glasses at home - those blurry things out on the dance floor are other couples so, no, you can't dance through them.
• If you're trying to get your speed walking in - move to the outside lane of the floor, I really don't need a tail gunner.
• Conversely, if you're doing your Tim Conway imitation move to the inside - I don't want to become a tail gunner just as much as I don't need one.
• Regardless of how good you feel you're not a mambo king, you're not a member of Whitey's Hoppers, and you'll never compete with Gene Kelly - so get over yourself and find your freakin' manners.

So just take it easy and try to enjoy your time on the floor - and please let everyone else do the same thing!